Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love Language #2 Quality Time

The second love language we will be visiting at Life on a Hill is Quality Time. As the name of this love language suggests it is not just spending time together but actually spending quality time together focusing your attention on each other, taking turns talking and really listening to each other. 

I can’t speak for everyone but I know in our household my husband and I can spend lots of hours together without actually having any quality time. I love that we are able to be together for meals, to play with the kids, to get the kids to sleep and even to watch our favourite tv shows. However unless we actually make time for each other we find that while we have had time together we have not had a proper conversation during these times.

Quality time in most cases must go hand in hand with quality conversation. Quality conversation involves both partners sharing thoughts experiences, feeling, and goals for the future and so much more in a relaxed and uninterrupted context.  Most importantly it involves both partners equally sharing, listening and responding in a way that communicates t the other that they have been understood

Quality time does not just have to be sitting on the couch at home talking, or even chatting over a meal but it can involve doing activities together that you both enjoy. If you both love exercising, bush walking or even gardening these activities are great ways of spending time together and giving you the space to chat about things that have been on your minds.

As my love language is quality time it is important to me that I am able to have time chatting with my husband. I am thankful that, while it is not his primary love language he is a good communicator and we are able to have good quality conversation quite frequently. We find that longer driving trips are great times for conversations (it helps that our children and young and don’t yet know what we are talking about). We also find that family days/mornings out doing something together works as quality time time as we are away from distractions such as computers,T.V, and house work and can give each other and the kids our attention.

If you are not a quality time person then I imagine it would probably be the hardest love language to communicate as it seems to take up more time and energy than the other languages. However as with all of the love languages if you are really wanting to love your partner in a way that makes them feel loved then discovering their love language and expressing it to them is important. 

One of the important things I discovered while reading the Love Languages book (which we are giving away this month) is that it is most important to discover your partner’s love language first rather than knowing your own and grumbling when he/she does not meet your needs. First discover their language, you can do this by observing them, asking them or there is even a quiz on the 5 Love Langauges website. Knowing their love language will not only help you to know how to best show them love, but it will also show you that your partner IS actually showing you love..it may just be in their language not yours. Once you have discovered their language and have started speaking it, your partner will notice a difference in you and in your marriage. It is then you can communicate your needs and grow your relationship through meeting each others needs by speaking each others love language.  It is never an easy thing to speak another language and I am still failing to get it right in my own marriage but with prayer and a godly focus to put your partner needs before your own we can enhance our relationships and better understand each other.

If you want to read more about the 5 Love Languages enter our giveaway below for your chance to win this great book.

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